Acknowledging You

Shadows in Winter, this picture is one of many I've taken in parks near Lake Ontario (Youngstown NY/Niagara region). Perhaps more on that soon, with pictures, of course!

So what brings me here today? Well, I want to leave comments in my own blog; a little write up to acknowledge the wonderful readers/writers that have graciously spent time at my blog and also to add to the discussion in general whenever possible. Blogger Help Group had several inquiries pertaining to the same issue I'm experiencing; that after going through the motions to write a comment, once the 'post comment' (or 'preview') button is selected, the page refreshes, leaving no trace that a comment was made and published. A mixed dozen of real and test comments are spinning lost in space. I am, however, able to post on other people's blogs just fine. yay! So until I figure out how to get my own comments to publish within my own blog comment area, I will try to re cap what I had wanted to share with the those that left a little something on my previous three blogs.

CaJoh Thanks for coming on board. I have plenty to read over at your wonderful blog space. I look forward to going back a little bit in time with your posts. Interesting, thought provoking, humble; I've been by already a few times- comments are coming! Thanks for the well wishes on getting better. As per your recommendation, I read through your list of home remedies, something that really came in handy over the weekend. I took to lots of sleep, fluids, warmth and even tried tossing a cough drop into my hot tea. Interesting idea, it worked well, and I will be integrating that into my cold care regimes in the future! Fortunately, I rarely experience a full blown cold, usually just something mild and pretty manageable. As long as there is good sleep and take extra care, I get well pretty quickly.

MB- ok, Shelfari is just too cute a name! I am surprised that I hadn't heard of it until now. I know so many people that have been keep track of the books they read, that they would love something like this to use. I have been mentally 'kicking myself in the butt' for not writing down what I read. Imagine how long the list is in a year for book-eaters like us, but then say look back over those lists decades later?! So while I haven't ever really done that, I have decided to start. I remembered most from last year, so 2008 will be the beginning of my official read list. Now I would like to use something like Shelfari to make it fun to look at and share (thank you, btw). As for the writer you recommended, Markus Zusak, have you read anything else by him (ones that I may have missed looking over your Shelfari)? There seems to be a handful to choose from (The Book Thief, I Am the Messenger, Getting the Girl, Fighting Ruben Wolfe, etc). I'm curious of his work, now that I have done a little search on his writing style and positive comments people have for his books. It is always exciting to add more authors to the list of books to buy from. I look forward to chatting about books and everything else we feel like!

and finally, PattyMooney, hello to you! Thank you for coming over and reading my blog. I'm not sure what direction it will take yet. Some people have a wonderful focus to their writing style and contents whether it is for business or pleasure. There is so much to think about, discuss, and learn from that the possibilities are wide open. Again, thank you for reading. As for the author, Anne Rice, she keeps coming up as an author I should be reading. I have read, Exit to Eden (under, Anne Rampling) her more risque work with The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment and Beauty's Release (under, A.N. Roquelaure), however, I have not yet read any of the vampire novels yet, nor do I know much about them. Are they related, as in, do I need to read them in a particular order? Is it all one series or a few? If none of the above, is there one that I should start with? I do a lot more reading in the winter, and I'm beginning to think that it would be nice to get cozy warm and read something from her. I look forward to reading and learning more from over at your blog/site(s). Take care!

and now, I will do more searching and a few more test comments to see if I'm able to figure anything else out with my commenting issues. Well, in my period of rest and lounging, I've learned plenty in the past few days, simply navigating around blogspot.

It is well after 2am now, and although I have been sleeping on and off all day, I think it is time again ti try to catch a few more zzzz's, see where my dreams take me.

Tale of the Tingling Throat

One picture of many from a series I like to call, "Mattress Olympics"
(probably not what you had in mind?)

On to my third post in as many days, I sit here with my fingers itching to write. My brain however, is begging to differ. I am experiencing a slight cold; which is fortunately a very rare occurrence for me. A little tingle in the throat kept me up most all of last night. Ironic that in the previous post, I mentioned my childhood gold velour couch. A little back story on this golden wonder is that it was incredibly comfortable, big and entertaining. Yes, I remember it being highly entertaining. How so? Well, the size and softness made a perfect medium to try out various acrobatic and gymnastic type moves (I always had a penchant for jumping on furniture or using furniture in ways that it just wasn't designed for) (sorry mom). When not competing for long and high jump competitions, the couch cushions (and every blanket in the house) were often used as the structural basis to many forts built within my youth. As much as the forts induced many an imaginative adventure, it was pure pleasure to experience a few tangible ones. With this, I would plunge my curious hand deep into the couch which proved fruitful, as much more than spare change would be fished out of the golden abyss. I likely used the excuse, "my couch ate my homework" without success, but it was certainly within the realm of possibility. Often I found small stuffed animals, socks, toys and many books (my books!) nestled down deep within the frame work of that couch. When storms arose and the lightening frightened me, my big sis would build a soft gold barricade around me, sheltering my young eyes and ears from seeing the bright flashes and muffling out the terrible rumbles.

Oh such fun memories! However, this couch served another very specific and humble purpose beyond all the playing, treasure hunting and protecting. It is the very thing that led me to say earlier that I find it ironic that I just mentioned the couch previously and that I was now writing about having a cold.

See, when any of us were sick, and especially if we were experiencing that annoying sleep disturbing throat tickle and cough (like last night), we would take ourselves out to the couch, and set up camp for the night. There were two couches, actually. One was several seat cushions long, and one that was about the size of a love seat, the better of the two for this purpose. The furniture ("funiture"!) had high large rolled arms. It was with these arms that we found our comfort when trying to sleep in bed with a nagging cold would not happen. The throat tickle is always at it's worst when lying down, so it is imperative to find a way to sleep sitting up. I don't know about you, but I much prefer to sleep lying prone. To sleep sitting up is to feel not only uncomfortable but also unsafe, like I'm going to fall over. Well these couches provided the perfect compromise. Sitting on either couch (especially the smaller love-seat style one) while nestling my body into both the back of the couch and the arm rolls, it was possible to feel snug and secure which paved the way for a comfortable nights sleep. And so, with you knowing this now, and me remembering it, all last night, just as I began to doze, every time the strong coughing sensation would disturb my slumber, I'd feel wistful for that old gold chair. Tossing and turning, I'd pile the pillows in varying configurations to try to find the least cough summoning position. Pillows plumped high yet mashed for some level of comfort, I felt desperate to sleep and yet just as I would nod off, either the tingle would come back or I would feel like I was falling over. Nothing could be done to make myself comfortable, and so it was almost day break when I finally fell into a deep sleep for a few hours.


Overall I feel pretty good. My colds tend to be minimal in symptom and duration. Although this isn't axiomatic, it is certainly helpful that I have a tendency to be aware of the early warning signs, ie; increased fatigue, food and drink cravings, sleep disturbances beyond the norm and a desire to "nest". If I oblige to my need for extra sleep, warmth, food and drink choices (gravitate towards better nutritional intake) then I seem to get through it quicker and without too much issue, sometimes avoiding anything beyond the aforementioned.

After waking and getting dressed, I ventured out to the store to purchase a few needful things. Since the giant old squishy couch has not been in my life for a couple of decades or more, my cold care needs would have to be of the more traditional nature. My simple list included buying a fresh bag of cough drops (the ones I used last night were dated from 1999!), a box of Puffs Plus (on any given day I like regular tissues, but my red chaffed nose is grateful for the extra softness), a gallon of orange juice and chicken noodle soup (yes, cliche, but I had such a craving for them and extra fluid is always good, I believe), some night time cold medicine (I want to be knocked out and deep asleep tonight or things could get worse) and a warm mist humidifier for the bedroom. I think this last thing is going to be most helpful of all. The lack of humidity was likely the biggest culprit last night. So tonight, kind readers, I am off to getting comfy, make myself something to eat, brew a hot mug of green tea and then settle down on the couch in front of the tv to watch a movie. There is healing in slovenliness.

Thanks for reading, there is more to come soon!

Part Two: A Side of Books with Your Alphabet Soup?

Part of my scaled down book collection, the "keep forever and ever" collection, the permanent few. They look organized, but they are tightly (and lovingly) crammed in there. Love that book smell- you know what it is!

As per my last entry, I proclaimed my fondness towards writing. All those letters positioned in such a way to share a story, a secret an idea?Wow! Well, one of the other passive activities that I immensely enjoy involves reading (why make the 'passive' distinction? well, it certainly is not active- I can't peddle a bike and ponder Kipling simultaneously without feeling the need to wretch! But I envy those that can burn calories while burning through books). Among the many food things I like to eat (munch, nom, devour, consume, masticate), I think it is mentioned somewhere that I am a book- eater as well, yes? (nom nom nom). Alright, to clarify here, if you happen to see a book in my face, you can be assured that I am eating it up with my eyes and not with my teeth. However, leave me be if I'm sensually sniffing the binding. Yes, join me now, raise your hand if you love the smell of old books too. (But if I'm licking the binding..) (oh wait. I don't ever do that) (not after the paper cut, anyways. Just kidding. No, I really am.) In short, books have always been part of my life and I am sure many of you can relate to this passion.


As a child, I loved selecting books to take home from the local village library. It was a giant room replete with adventure and new worlds awaiting! (from an adult perspective, it was really a stuffy little room packed with dusty old disorganized books). Although I was often read to as a youngster, it was more often that I was encouraged to do the story reading out loud for all or simply to myself (not so much to develop my skills but that my parents' voices tired out before I was satisfied with enough reading). Perhaps I was naturally precocious in my reading development or perhaps I was so adamant against doing my homework at night that I would do and read anything else other than what was assigned to me, that I began reading whatever was available. Although most kids, including myself, were reading Judy Blume, I had moved on to reading books from my big sisters collection when nothing else was available (I wouldn't dare read a school text!). By the time I was 9-10 years old, I had polished off Christine by Stephen King and then swiftly moved on to (and finished) Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel. The former scaring the hell out of me (and leaving me terrified of the giant old Buick and Cadillac sitting in our driveway) while the latter evoked strong emotional reactions that I don't think I was prepared for yet.


After many nights on the old gold velour couch and 800 intense and deeply detailed pages later, I bawled my eyes out over the last chapters. I was always amazed at what a story could do to (and for) ones imagination. I could laugh, cry, get scared, mad, frustrated, feel happy, elation, angst and so on, a full spectrum of emotions just from words on a page. Furthermore, the places I could go, the people I would meet and the experiences I would have. The love of reading was discovered early and still courses through me today. Are you nodding in agreement? (*high five!*)

I say that I am a "book eater" because once I start a book, no matter what it is, it is difficult for me to put it down. The need to read can be disruptive to other responsibilities in my life and so I try to carve out the time needed to allow myself to sit down in a comfy spot (much to the pleasure of my lazy lounging felines) and read as much as I can in that sitting. I stuff myself with words. My imagination feeds off of it.

Sometimes (ok, almost always- like those chips, I can't "eat" just one!) there are a few books being read at once from various genres. Always a nerdy book or two tossed in for my cerebral appetite (quantum physics, philosophy, business books, etc). I'll re-read books too. Some of my faves to regularly reacquaint myself with include anything by David Sedaris, Jennifer Lancaster, "Discipline" by Paco Algren, "Count of Monty Cristo" by Alexandre Dumas, "The Talisman" by Stephen King and Peter Straub, "A Wrinkle In Time" by Madeline L'engle and a few others, I am sure. For various reasons, it is nice to go back to these books time and time again. Actually, a pretty cool concept book that I read recently is likely to go on that list as well. This would be, "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger. I was looking for something to read and had no idea what I wanted (my mind tends to go severely blank once I step foot into a bookstore) (Barnes and Noble- you suck out my soul. and my money. But I love you very much, please proceed.), so I had vaguely recalled this title on a book group forum. I didn't pay attention to what it was about or by who, but for some reason, I remembered the title (ok, I remembered it because it had the ever cool "time travel" in its title- how could it not be a good reading pick?). So when I went into my local 'Starbooks' (Barnes and Noble + Starbucks) (Me. I'm funny, yes?) and stood there completely stupid as to which direction I should head in, I recalled this title and typed it into a search. Voila! I scored and decided to buy it on the spot. And you know what? It is a pretty damn awesome story, and one that I would like to read again soon (I hear a movie is coming out based on it too?- leary, but curious).

So there. I could prattle on for pages about reading and the books I enjoy and the glee that it brings to my life, but I will end it here. Actually, it isn't so much to spare you my kind reader, but I am now itching for a book fix. I need to grab my book (finishing a small old Tilly Olsen anthology) (ok, also reading 'Naked' by Sedaris, 'Love' by Toni Morrison and Philip Dicks, 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?'- Bladerunner, anybody?!)

Now you know just a teeny tiny more about me. How about I know a little more about you? Leave a comment (let me know you exist!) and I will come check out your blog. Actually, if you dig books too, how about sharing your favorite? I'm really up for reading anything from any point in time, so all of your suggestions will be appreciated.

I have an ever-growing pile of books that I want to read and a list that I write down new titles I learn about. Seriously, some time ago, I got the feeling that I have single handedly raised the stock price at Amazon.com. As for Barnes and Noble? I'm putting those workers and the workers kids through college (you know the saying). So now, PreciseDisarray is signing out. Catch ya later!

First Course: Allow Me to Introduce, PreciseDisarray

A recent and silly little doodle/sketch using cheap quality colored pencils on white semi gloss paper.
Is this a formal introduction or a haphazard mash of words scraped off my cerebellum, like a much needed sloughing? I suppose the former and the latter are one in the same, for all intended purposes. Now where do we begin? Ah yes, give me your hand, please. No, it's ok, really. I'm really friendly and want to shake your hand, say hello and welcome you to my world. Maybe give you a hug, too? Oh no, don't let go; we have more to cover and more to see. So now, let me guide you into this peculiar realm, and allow me to warmly welcome you to, PreciseDisarray. That's me! *grin*

There is so much to talk about and show you, but you know what? We are going to go slowly, take our time, get to know each other and have fun. I want to tell you everything, but how about just a little bit at a time? At least for now. So, lets start with the obvious, ok? Thanks for coming with me, may this be a great adventure (or not 'bang my head against the wall' boring), ok? alright, here we go... Oh goodness I like to write. Not surprisingly, a love of books (Infatuation? Crush? Literary Fetish?) and getting lost in my thoughts (my brain? my happy place!) are great things too. But back to this writing thing. I used to write stories as a teeny tiny kid. Yeh, looking back on them, they are quaint, silly, kind of embarrassing, but definitely creative and most importantly, all mine (mine!!). I had quite the fondness to illustrate them as well (I loved to draw cats, despite my inability to keep to any proportions and they were always in my story, sometimes the lead character. what? I was six.). Maybe at that time, it was the drawing I liked best, as I spent most of my free time from a small tyke to an early adult coloring, sketching, doodling, drawing and a little bit of painting. I think my artistic talent peaked at about 19 or so. Or maybe it was 9. I blew it trying again at 29. I don't know exactly when I lost it, but it seemed that I got worse with instruction rather than better (Hmmm, although you dont know it yet, kind reader, I'm noticing a theme to my life as I write these words. Interesting- and more on that later.) (and yeh, my writing is full of digression and parenthesis after parenthesis of after thought nuggets) (spell check be dammed and all you grammar Nazi's!).

Anyway, college art classes were fun and in some ways satisfying, but they lacked the critical element of, "me". According to class expectations, I did what I had to with varying degree of capability (some work was even hung up in an art show, while some, most (ok, pretty much all) work plunged deep into the trash), but it was the glorious freedom to authentically express that I really yearned for. A child with a crayon had a whole wide world open to them- to draw and creatively explore in any way that they felt in the moment. They worry not of what their peers or adults have to say. It is with pure sublime enjoyment that they run their crayon across the blank white paper (or living room wall, I imagine) (I never did that.) (Right, mom? right??). Ah, that wonderful creative abandon, a world of no distinct rules, a safe yet uncharted place to explore and create. And so as my artistic pursuits dwindled away, I hoped that one day, I would again find that primitive place, and allow myself to pick up a crayon (whether it be conte or crayola) and render again a world once forgotten. I've got ideas but I need my Muse (yeh, ok, the English rock band and even Sharon Stone can help too. I just need something to kick in the art juices. art slushies. art lattes. art whatevs) And when I do? You know I will keep on drawing my tiny faced giant eared purple kitty cats with disproportionate glee.

And so I was saying that like to write. After the cute books written and illustrated by yours truly, I moved onto complete sentences within the boundaries of a wide ruled spiral bound notebook. I would jot down my youngling observations ("Mom's new boyfriend has a hairy chest- ew!") to ("I love Snowball and David forever"( my first cat and my first crush. One I drew with big ears, the other just had them- but you were still cute, David- sorry I tormented you, but it was true love.). Sentences graduated into paragraphs and those turned to full pages. I never called what I wrote in, a "diary". I tried it once, but it felt like too much pressure. I had the notion in my mind that people who wrote in diaries wrote every night before bed and stuck to lame topics such as crushes, bad dates, school angst and parental quandaries (not me! well, those weren't my only topics). I wanted to go deeper or at least probe issues beyond the aforementioned, and write when I felt like as little or as much as I liked. At the start of sixth grade, I adopted the term "journal", as our English class incorporated a daily five minute journal writing exercise. Unlike my artistic interests, I found that I enjoyed writing under any circumstance. Whether it was on my own or for an assignment. Whether is was restricted in length and topic or wide open. As long as I was writing, and sharing my thoughts or a culmination of research based on others thoughts, I was happy. This is likely the only way I managed my way through high school. And college. Ok, and grad school. And meeting my S.O., and keeping my sanity..and, ok, you get the idea- writing is important to me.) My only angst was the typewriter (F*%$#ng piece of sh!t how I loathed you). Please (please please please) let me use a pen, pencil, crayon or eyeliner to write (sharpie marker would work too). Under no circumstance did I want to get my thought(s) out with the use of a typewriter. Oh, I tried to learn, but I wasn't mastering the "correct form" quickly enough to satisfy my needs or that of my typing class teacher (I remember he was stinky, but not where my fingers go). Honestly, I gave up quickly and paid-begged-bartered belonging to- my friends to type my assignments or allowed (begged, cried to) mom to help me out; now she? Could type. Later, the computer keyboard and it's backspace key became my writings best friend (and the recipient of my papers. because, my friends? rarely took the bait to do my typing for me, ha). I still don't know how to type as per the taught ways back in the day (and today?), but I can wave my fingers (one in particular) (oh wait, I'm talking about typing here, I mean, all but my stumpy pinkies, they are just for show) all over the board with few mistakes (still love that backspace/delete key!) and without looking. My point? I found my own way to successfully type out anything from a simple sentence to a Masters thesis (yeh, I'm overly formally educated) without needing to have my fingers in their "correct place". I think there is a term for it. My style was termed, 'pecking', but my skills have elevated to a whole new level. Shall we say, 'Master Pecking'? I'm masterpecking. I like to masterpeck. I masterpeck every day, often by myself but sometimes with others. I even masterpeck in public. I use almost all my fingers to masterpeck. (See, PreciseDisarray is a fun place to go!) Again, my point? I figured out to do things my way and I do it pretty dang well. (Again another theme popping up as I write all this- oooh revelations in the making, peeps!).

Well, as a kid in the single digits through the teens years and into my twenties, I wrote primarily with a pen and paper through 2005. Although I began an electronic journal (LiveJournal, anyone?) in early 2001, I wrote in it infrequently and certainly much differently than in the complete privacy of my written journal pages. It was just so... weeeeird to, ya know, write stuff that other people would see, ya know? I was still, um, masterpecking in privacy, hehe. Well, writing with a pen was still just more, 'my thing'. More specifically, when I was 14, I was given a set of lined writing books with impressionist artist work decorating the covers (me lovey the Monet). I longed to make good use of these books, and so I switched from spiral notebooks to these books, thinking that forever more I would keep with this style of book to write in. I dreamed of having all of my journals one day lining a shelf in my personal library (I had no self importance whatsoever!). For several years I kept to that desire. Then I found it fun and nerdly exciting to scour stores for my next writing journal. Which one would call out to me, begging to host my deepest thoughts and observations? Which wanted to accumulate my rants and worries? Which one did I want to look at and feel (feel up) on a regular basis? Which would become my new best friend, as my books were intensely important to me. If I had nothing else, a piece of paper and a pen would pacify me and my beloved chosen journal book would comfort me in any moment it was needed. Some of my books were like the original ones- usually with some sort of design or artwork on them. Some books were small, thin, spiral bound and ornate while others were huge, plain and existed in the "perfect binding" technique. Through the years, it was exciting to see the collection of completed books grow (my thoughts? I have them. In a box, not, "on a shelf in my library". oh heck no! Plus I would need a library).

Not until late 2005 did I start writing regularly online and over time, much less to not at all in a paper and pen journal. I guess it doesn't matter anymore where or how I write, as long as I'm doing it. One day, I will either transcribe all of my written journals (oh, thats a lot of masterpecking!) or print out all of my electronic/online journals (or both, hmmm). And so it is with this journal, this brand new journal. This waxing awesome journey (journal=journey, get it?) that I will be sharing my thoughts, exploring ideas and giving a place for my busy brain to sort it all out; a cerebral sloughing, if you will. I got a lot going on and I need a place to sort it.

So, my kind readers, you can expect a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Anything is possible. I simply hope to bring my voice out and connect with many of you through my writing. Nothing will start out intentional, as I know that my writing can and will wander, but likely it well go somewhere-just hang it there, and stay on the ride until it comes to a complete stop. We're going to go just wherever my thoughts take me that day.

It is, I am, PreciseDisarray. See you next time? Oh there is so much more.. give me that hand again, *shakes*- "it was nice meeting you".